Coach Milo

[fim]

Hi there, Fim;
at first I wondered about the "coach", but now I read your poem as a tribute to our esteemed moderator, Milo. Right? Interesting poem.
I would agree that strict discipline acquired in the sports arena will benefit a poet in the art of writing as well.
Just a few suggestions below, indicated in red. Regards, Jerry

Coach Milo
fim 9/6/13

In football (American style)
coaches are quite rough.
They often intimidate initiates
with all sorts of reprehensible stuff[.] remove period and place comma

[N]ever acknowledging the pain of injury (never)
or the existence of fear or doubt,
unless while ridiculing a player
always in a high-decibel shout.

It is a well-established culture
that utilizes the fear they don’t acknowledge
to mold a player into a ferocious entity
designed to cause opponents to shudder.

Pregame directives often included
[“Unleash] the animal from its cage!” (I would say: Release . . .)
Hit the opponents so viciously
“you change their mind about the game.”

As I grew older I learned to embrace,
activities that make more sense.
I enjoy reading and writing poetry,
to sit back, breathe and reflect.

But I have a new appreciation
for my football experience and its adversity.
The conditioning permits me to realize benefit
when Coach Milo critiques my poetry.

billie,
I considered putting it in the Fun Forum. That certainly would be consistent with the intent (although I believe in every joke there is a bit of truth). I decided Mild because I have a lot more to learn and I need and value critique, particularly those of the Masters of the Minion-Members
Snowbells,
Thank you for the critique. I think all of your suggestions are spot-on.
Master Milo,
I don't know if I am relatively unique or ordinary, but I don't sit down and write a poem. I will be doing something and all a sudden I will just have to write down a poem that is bursting forth from somewhere in me. I was reading some poetry on our site this morning and you critiqued a poem the way you do and shortly thereafter I wrote Coach Milo. I have a surgeon who has operated on me several times; all successfully. He is incredibly talented. His bedside manner sucks. I wouldn't consider going to any other surgeon.
Cheers,
fim