Coach Milo

[milo]

he puts the shits up me as well

i wonder if this would be better in the for fun section?

while it gave me a wry smile, it feels more prose than poetry.
i'd like there to have been some poetic devices in there; thinks like simile, assonance, alliteration etc.

yah, the "for fun" forum seems a better home.

The meter's a mess btw.

I was slightly surprised to see this as I don't think I've ever offered critique on any of fim's poems. (discounting this one).