Walking in Snow shoes.

[Keith]

I feel the imperfections;
each a unique ‘Snow-flake’,
of gram weighted troughs and ridge tops
on pristine, carbon dated sheets.
My tired thoughts seek to settle and roost
like a cloud of sun-downing starlings.

Each bare branched idea
clings, half formed to the tip
of a bonsai tree. Whilst slips of chaos,
drip cooling molten dross
on the un-tilled fields of pressed perfection;
splintering the compressed calm of my mind.

Startled concepts leap sky-borne.
In sightless swirling flocks
they flee the blotched approach;
fledglings on a maiden flight
that quicly merge and coalesce. Birthed
in rivers of delight, the image forms and grows.

Swooping low to kiss a virgin field of snow,
the fluid thought compacts
into a single, graphite coloured flow.
Twice, the creative wave reaches a climax
and falls as if dead upon an un-read page.
The final decent is decisive and smooth.

The imperfections are covered and soothed.

---

A couple of quick comments.

'Snow-flake' is a brand of wood shavings sold in the Uk. Please comment if this is too abstract or makes the line in the poem unaccessable.

Secondly, I might be a mod but I am not too proud to earnestly desire the opportunity of having a poem mentored by someone. I am surprised by the slow response to this feature. (Also I figure if i am to be able to offer this to someone else at some point in the future, the best way to learn the art, would be to be tutored in this as a skill).
So if anyone might feel so inclined, I would love to have give this a go. (Is this poem is particularly deserving? - No not really! But just... well why not. For this reason I have posted it perhaps a bit raw off the press.)
I'll leave it here a week before re-posting in a workshop.

(From original post: Small edit made to third line 1st stanza)

Hi AJ I'm not sure I'm qualified for this but like you I am interested in the process, so we could try and learn together, with big brother watching of course.

Challenges I see for me and you :-
1. One paragraph is a lot for me to write.
2. I never have enough time so responses could be slow.
3. I have a very limited knowledge of poetry and its workings.

Point three is probably the biggest blocker as the idea of mentoring in a subject I have a limited understanding of is quite daunting.

So all this said, now is the time to say thanks but no thanks. I will understand completely. I have read your poem quite a few times, then a few times more so I'm ready to begin if you agree. Best Keith