DEFEATED

[heslopian]

I must just give up Maybe I'm wrong, but this line feels like it should be saying "might" instead of "must".
My hands thrown up
I look into the sky
asking why?

Every time I cry
No matter what I do
No matter what I try
A bad end is what's due

It is never enough
Life is so rough
Way too Tough Why is "tough" capitalised?
I think it's all just guff

Even though life is a must
What's a guy to do
When all he touches turns
to dang ole dust?

Poor ole me all I have
to show for a lifetime long
is the sweet success of failure. This line doesn't really make sense. I can see that you're trying to find a unique way of saying something, which is great, but clarity is important. If the success is "sweet", then the sting of "failure" is diluted.

Your rhymes sometimes create a nice rhythm. I'd recommend adding imagery and other poetic devices, like metaphor and simile, to this poem, if you really want to convey that sense of defeat in a profound, lasting way. Critique is JMHO, of course. Thank you for the read