09-07-2013, 10:42 AM
My only real critique is the repeated use of the word "And" to start so many lines. In my opinion instead of breaking those lines into separate thoughts, it tends to meld them in the mind's eye of the reader.
Your mileage may vary.
Your mileage may vary.
"In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite." - Paul Dirac (1902 - 1984)