09-07-2013, 01:45 AM
I don't know who is being spoken TO here, or who/what the speaker IS. It doesn't look like I am alone here.
Your poem DOES have a very nice, "country" feel to it. Very natural imagery.
I don't get the title.
Can you give me some clues what you're going for here? The weird thing is: I really like this! Ha! I don't really know what it's about but I like it a lot. I do think you could benefit from doing a better job or getting the speaker of the poem's identity - is it a person? A bird? An omnipotent thing?
"the horse
in your pasture.
Fish
in your pond.
Cow
in your freezer."
^ That was my favorite stanza because it's so stark - the horse is in the pasture, the fish is in the pond...then...ew...cow in the freezer. I love how you just throw that in there!
Nice work. Keep 'em coming. =]
Your poem DOES have a very nice, "country" feel to it. Very natural imagery.
I don't get the title.
Can you give me some clues what you're going for here? The weird thing is: I really like this! Ha! I don't really know what it's about but I like it a lot. I do think you could benefit from doing a better job or getting the speaker of the poem's identity - is it a person? A bird? An omnipotent thing?
"the horse
in your pasture.
Fish
in your pond.
Cow
in your freezer."
^ That was my favorite stanza because it's so stark - the horse is in the pasture, the fish is in the pond...then...ew...cow in the freezer. I love how you just throw that in there!
Nice work. Keep 'em coming. =]
-betalife