09-06-2013, 11:15 PM
I like the thoughts you convey many people can share this feeling. What confused me enough to slow my reading down was the person you speak in(1st 2nd 3rd)
I like it in 1st person cause its about you, 2nd paragraph u speak in 3rd person
1st parag u speak in 1st person.
but when u speak at the end of the lovers as others not you . If the lover was there why do u wish to tel them of the visit (if it was but a dream i didnt catch that)? But it is lovely poem:j
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I like it in 1st person cause its about you, 2nd paragraph u speak in 3rd person
1st parag u speak in 1st person.
but when u speak at the end of the lovers as others not you . If the lover was there why do u wish to tel them of the visit (if it was but a dream i didnt catch that)? But it is lovely poem:j
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(09-06-2013, 08:57 AM)ruagun Wrote: My eye's open, time's instrument declares four past
A cold lonely dawn greets me
Tranquility dwells not, my mind unrest
For love came by last night
Love painted your heart as it were mine
For they both knew no other
Ecstasy had in a place we knew
Our love came back last night
But is love being fair
Should broken hearts not dwindle and die
For love's reunion deceives the healing of time
Love's visit now appears to be vague
So from the heart I now speak
Our destiny you placed, upon a fool
Love is too fragile, the heart should decide
A lesson learnt too late
Where ever you are, I want you to know
Our love came by last night
The ghost of my horse Spike runs with me always..!