Something new, tell me what you think don't hold back

[Savanna]

I like it, and I understand its meaning, but I did get lost in the middle section of your choice of words..the many ending *ity* words kind of bundled over in me and I lost sight of what could have directed a more impacting view..I see the potential in your writing style for some reason. I am far from being an expert on any writing, but for some reason I feel that you have the potential to capture us in a way that will awaken deeper levels of self and life as one.