Lunar Glow

[btrudo]

I’m loving night, for moon is bright
and sky is thick with clouds.

Yellow softens darkened blue,
blending, circling milk-white moon.

And rainbow light shines out in rays
through billowed haze of smoky sky,
splitting shadowed, blackened night.

For when moonlight takes ashen sky,
flecks of silver emphasize that beauty sits
in seas of clouds who beg and brood
‘neath dark night sky and vibrate out
of moon’s bright light.

Nice use of variation on the rhythms here, though I'm not sure if they're backing any contrasts here.

some ideas...
I’m loving Night, for Moon is bright
Can you find another word for bright which shed more onto what the poem wants to show? The moon is expected to be bright in a poem. You can say "moon is bright", but in the context of this poem, there are probably too many phrases like this. I suggest not to rhyme here, but look for a word that will alliterate with night.

The second stanza is not a bad description of a lunar halo, though I'm not used to them being yellow, but either whitish or rainbowish, though they could be yellow I don't know.

The third stanza shows this as a rainbow color, so I'm now a little confused.

The last stanza has nice potential "in seas of Clouds who beg and brood"...I like the brood, though the begging isn't as clear here. "and vibrate out" is bit clunky. Second line is not bad, but I'm not sure if the poem makes the most use of the line.

Overall good sonics, but there is a lot of opportunity for you to dig deeper into yourself and find more of you writing this. I also would use more repetition of the rhythmic pattern in "splitting shadowed, blackened night." /x /x /x / I read three lines, you could use that more.

a few thoughts,
Bill