Underneath

[cidermaid]

Hi LG, you have some realy nice images and lines in this one.
I'll offer a few comments as I read it through again.

In the darkest hour of indigo night
under blackberry sky sugared with light, A great opener. I really like blackberry sky, coupled with the rhyme of indigo night / sugared light. Nice.
the inviting mouths of lovers new
perform the acts that lovers do. but I feel let down by these two lines they seam a bit plain and almost cliched. Also the syntax feels a bit forced with lovers new...like it was only turned round to fit the rhyme.

Curtains drawn to a close.
We slip out of clothing and into roles.
Under covers to warm and conceal
the chill of beings yet unrevealed.

What magic in your searching eyes
coaxes me to swallow lies? These two lines and the stanza above read as a section of descriptive narative put in to get from the opener to the next image. Ie just filling the space.
Though my body's bare as desert land
you unzip me with your slight of hand. Back to the images and both of these are solid and work IMO

My inner workings, strong as bricks,
are no match for your heart-melting tricks.
Your piercing gaze splitting up my sides,
my back exposed, then butterflied. Not sure that these images fit...(although I do like them)...I'm getting images of a meat portion being preped for the table...Is this what you were looking to achieve?

Your tongue and fingers, skillful keys,
prod and poke to taunt and tease.
Though I've never been a chatterbox, Never been feels the wrong word; perhaps contract and use not a instead. Overall think this image fits well with the previous from the sky to the land to bricks. I like how the focus is brought down into smaller spaces and details.
the sheets are littered with my busted locks.

As the floodgates dry at the source,
and our dialogue runs its course,
we end our explorations within,
and, ravenous, yearn for the taste of skin.

My satin freed from armor plates
hugs your muscles, wraps round your waist.
You palm these mountains, taste these plains,
tongue racing across my dark terrain.

In the heat of one another's core
we melt and blend evermore,
articulating what we could not before
through thrust and word, spoken for.

I feel that overall this is a great poem in the making with lots of nice images going on. My suggestion is that you think again about the connection between your images and make sure that they do not become confused or cluttered. Try to keep to one theme. I like how you develop the narative from the big spaces down into smaller details as the love making pregresses. Perhaps you could re-look at the last three stanzas as currently they feel like although you maintained your rhyme scheme and story line you lost focus and it sort of just petered out. (No fireworks!)