08-29-2013, 11:45 AM
I love the way that your poem flows smoothly with your rhymes, but they don't feel forced, they just work really well. I feel like some of the punctuation could be changed, as to help the reader better understand the voicing of the poem when they read it. For instance, your last few lines.
In the heat of one another's core
we melt and blend evermore, ( I feel like placing a period here, rather than a comma, would show the reader to rest there.)
articulating what we could not before
through thrust and word, spoken for.
I could be completely wrong though! I guess it depends on the writers preference.
In the heat of one another's core
we melt and blend evermore, ( I feel like placing a period here, rather than a comma, would show the reader to rest there.)
articulating what we could not before
through thrust and word, spoken for.
I could be completely wrong though! I guess it depends on the writers preference.