Into the Throes

[metalfan91]

I believe this was meant to be a spoken word piece and as such loses some steam in poetry form without hearing the emotional voice behind the words. It's very difficult to pull off an interesting effective political diatribe. I admit that I laughed at monetized pulp, but it did stick in my head. I agree that this one has too many descriptors and it meanders too much in theme from existentialism, to economics, to environment, to god give us earth, to god may not exist (or he is a metaphor), to death, then freedom and whatever else I missed. However, there seems to be an effort to express passion. Therefore, I would recommend capturing one of the themes here and use to create your monolog, but clarify the message and then elaborate.

Thanks for reading and critiquing. I agree, this would be better suited as a spoken word piece, as you pointed out. I did not create it with that in mind. Thanks for trying to look into the themes. I may have overshot the mark by trying to encompass many different ideas and combining them into one piece, but I stand by it. I do not like art that has a "message," you know what I mean? This may have a sort of message, but I see it as more of an exploration from my perspective. Thanks again.