alejandra (1st edit)

[ChristopherSea]

There are too many queiries in this poem. Cap your lines and those 'i's, as they look silly. You have partial punctuation. Why put all of the question marks in and miss critical commas after 'potent' and 'march'. There are some awkward lines using what some refer to as 'Yoda speak' (e.g. 'a liquor more potent, you had tasted on your tongue?' and 'with the defeated, I now march' and 'were those doubts for a second hung?'). You need to give feedback, if you want it from others.