Bird (edit 2)

[makeshift]

Thanks for posting, good luck with the rewrites.

Thanks for the read, clarity, and feedback. With the last line I intended it to mean the bird would pass as in die and I would pass him as in walk by, trying to be clever lol. I can see how that could fail to come across though especially as I kind of establish the bird as dead already. I think ill edit the "lying limp" line to paint a picture of a half dead bird. Lots of useful feedback overall excited to edit this.

However, use what you like best, you don't gather a consensus. All critques are just suggestions.

Yeah I get this, just not too confident in my understanding of grammar. I appreciate you replying.