Bird (edit 2)

[ChristopherSea]

I've edited the op with everyone's feedback in mind. (:

@tectak thanks for the in-depth feedback really appreciate it. I tried to follow most of it with the rewritten version though probably fell a bit short with the gestalt business.

Nice edit, but correct the typos and some grammer:

Passing

A somber sparrow,
lies limp on the cross walk,
like hollow drift wood
gently swept to shore by night's tide.

I acknowledge you.

Your wispy feathers
caught the corner of my eye.
A rolling car disturbs the air,
dawn's dim sun struggles its way through pale clouds, and

I acknowledge you,
if only for a moment.

A dull moment, as I span the white striped street
and the distance between us
swiftly subsides.

Soon,
we will pass.