Soldier

[R.C. KITCHENS]

I'm home

Returned from this madness
Returned from this living hell
How can any of you understand?
The problem here is a lack of imagery to show the madness and living hell. based on the first two lines, the question is relevant because we really cant understand. Vague opening.

Really know what it's like
The despair
The hopelessness
The fear
These are common vague words. I believe you could come up with two good lines to show despair, hopelessness and fear without actually having to say those words.
My brothers
We are out there
Doing it together
Relying on each other
Trusting your mates with your life
What the hell would you lot know?
Okay, I like the confrontational tone of the questioning. You just need some firm standing to use it.

Rag-heads
They see it
The way they look at you us instead of you
It's in their eyes
The hate
The pity

I'm scared
I want my mum
I would lose the "I'm scared I want my mom" as the ending. just doesn't display that tough quality to match your confrontational questions. If your going to display that emotion, I would do it as an intro. and end with the rag heads bit. Some work here and you'll have a good quality effort. Right now, I agree, its generic and dull.