Soldier

[milo]

I'm home

Returned from this madness
Returned from this living hell
How can any of you understand?
Really know what it's like
The despair
The hopelessness
The fear

My brothers
We are out there
Doing it together
Relying on each other
Trusting your mates with your life
What the hell would you lot know?

Rag-heads
They see it
The way they look at you
It's in their eyes
The hate
The pity

I'm scared
I want my mum

It doesn't really say anything new, which isn't a big deal as poetry doesn't need to say anything at all. The real problem is the way it says it which is as dull as dried mud. Nothing really creative or imaginative at all, and that is where it fails. I would say try to think of some fresh wording, imagery - anything at all that is new and unique and start over.