Bird (edit 2)

Bird (edit 2)

makeshift Offline

member

Posts: 89
Threads: 14
Joined: Aug 2013

#12

08-09-2013, 11:47 AM

Thnx for the feedback everyone. I think I'm going to rewrite this one completely and maybe Ill have something more worthwhile. I can see the redundancy of the second stanza, and how the rhymes feel forced, so I will work on these things.

(08-09-2013, 10:10 AM)newsclippings Wrote: You basically could have...

Thick skin right, I actually am in art school so I am used to being critiqued, though I will say painting does come a lot easier to me then wirtting.

My arsehole has not been ripped yet > .

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Messages In This Thread

Bird (edit 2) - by makeshift - 08-08-2013, 03:00 AM

RE: Bird - by TheWall0912 - 08-08-2013, 03:17 AM

RE: Bird - by makeshift - 08-08-2013, 04:56 PM

RE: Bird - by Bunx - 08-08-2013, 03:42 AM

RE: Bird - by Green Ink - 08-08-2013, 11:10 AM

RE: Bird - by milo - 08-08-2013, 11:14 AM

RE: Bird - by newsclippings - 08-08-2013, 05:22 PM

RE: Bird - by makeshift - 08-08-2013, 06:04 PM

RE: Bird - by billy - 08-08-2013, 06:41 PM

RE: Bird - by ChristopherSea - 08-09-2013, 12:43 AM

RE: Bird - by newsclippings - 08-09-2013, 10:10 AM

RE: Bird - by makeshift - 08-09-2013, 11:47 AM

RE: Bird - by newsclippings - 08-09-2013, 11:53 AM

RE: Bird - by makeshift - 08-09-2013, 12:29 PM

RE: Bird - by milo - 08-09-2013, 12:41 PM

RE: Bird - by billy - 08-09-2013, 01:08 PM

RE: Bird - by tectak - 08-10-2013, 03:46 PM

RE: Bird - by makeshift - 08-19-2013, 04:18 PM

RE: Bird - by ChristopherSea - 08-20-2013, 07:40 AM

RE: Bird - by makeshift - 08-20-2013, 11:43 AM

RE: Bird - by ChristopherSea - 08-20-2013, 12:10 PM

RE: Bird - by ChristopherSea - 08-20-2013, 12:26 PM

RE: Bird - by milo - 08-20-2013, 11:57 AM

RE: Bird - by makeshift - 08-20-2013, 12:22 PM

RE: Bird edit 2 - by makeshift - 08-29-2013, 08:47 AM

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