Depression

[Zabrina]

You shouldn't feel the need to make everything rhyme. No less, the end of every line. This whole thing is kitsch. Your other poem was much better.

I understand what you're saying and I haven't really made any poem that hasn't rhymed before. I guess I enjoy trying to make things fit in a more obvious way. I would like to try a different way of writing another time. Thanks for the input though. However, how did this one lack compared to the other poem I posted? Just for a better understanding why this one is worse than the other, or not enjoyable in general. Thank you

The other poem, I believe named Afterlife, had a lot more character, and like Rowens said, intelligence.

I was harsh, yes, but if you learn anything on this site, it's that we value originality. :]

No I understand. I don't mind the fact that you were harsh. Leaving poetry here in the open, makes it open for criticism which I am fine with. I do want to improve after all. Thank you though for the feedback everyone.