Bird (edit 2)

[newsclippings]

There was no mourning
for the bird this morning;
Laying limp on the cross walk.

I simply passed him by. ** You left the bird there
Didn't bother with goodbye, ** You left and didn't say bye
was in a hurry ** you were in a hurry because you were leaving
on the fly; ** you are leaving quickly

as always. **You are always leaving this way.

You basically could have said any of these four lines after "Laying limp on the cross walk"

Since you are using so few words, it's important to actually say something.

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It's also important that when you are posting content here to disband yourself from your work immediately. There's no room for emotions in critique, that's what my art teachers always told me.
You're putting it up here to be critiqued, not praised.
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In any event, like art school, pig pen will rip into your arsehole you if you take everything personally. We are critiquing the work, not you, doll.