08-05-2013, 10:57 AM
Hi there,
The way it is now, I'm reading it more like a story than a poem. It's very wordy.
If you want, you could try to trim out some of the less needed words, making the poem shorter and more concise. Strip it down to the bones, and work from there, with shorter, less wordy lines.
JMHO.
Thanks for sharing.
Best
LB
The way it is now, I'm reading it more like a story than a poem. It's very wordy.
If you want, you could try to trim out some of the less needed words, making the poem shorter and more concise. Strip it down to the bones, and work from there, with shorter, less wordy lines.
JMHO.
Thanks for sharing.
Best
LB