08-03-2013, 12:17 PM
Thank you for your kind and helpful feedback, Bilbo
The attempt at blank verse was deliberate; I wrote this poem while trying to teach myself iambic pentameter with Stephen Fry's The Ode Less Travelled. Originally it was a sonnet, but I found the story too hard to contain in fourteen lines. As I wrote it I thought of what happens as literal - she really does rise from the grave and haunt him - but now I like to think of it as his conscience torturing him.
With the "because" line in verse one, would you recommend changing it to "I could not, dare not grasp the martyred mind"? Thanks again. xxx
The attempt at blank verse was deliberate; I wrote this poem while trying to teach myself iambic pentameter with Stephen Fry's The Ode Less Travelled. Originally it was a sonnet, but I found the story too hard to contain in fourteen lines. As I wrote it I thought of what happens as literal - she really does rise from the grave and haunt him - but now I like to think of it as his conscience torturing him.With the "because" line in verse one, would you recommend changing it to "I could not, dare not grasp the martyred mind"? Thanks again. xxx
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe