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[serge gurkski]

I watched an old man taking pictures...mountains,trees and summer skies. <<< mountains,_trees
I watched a child cry for attention...screams and tantrums, tight-squeezed eyes. <<< ok (but just: ok.)
Which memories will last a lifetime...fading photos, sobbing years? << sobbing years. that's good (y for t)

The old man stopped and smiled benignly...turned his lens towards the sun <<< dangerous! ;-) and I don't like "benignly" here!
and on the pavement danced a circle...ring of brightness, dancing fun. <<< yes!
Who will claim the greatest pleasure...now that they have swapped a tear? <<< It had to come and here it is: No. (Kitsch) (Please notice that, unlike milo, I am totally satisfied with typing down "Kitsch" only ONCE. Ooops, not thrice? But why not, if it is so much fun. Doesn't it make the poetic dilettantish delinquent look so much more unqualified? ;-) wtf! I need a beer. Luckily I have one.

The infant chased the dodging day glow...laughing at each twist and play; <<< oh man! ;-) see above.
in rheumy eyes a swell of memories...rising recalls, happier days. <<< you lost me. i don#t want to go there. it is, my friend, too touchy-feely. Just me.
Old man too late to capture moments...child too young to know that fear. <<< You Kind of save it by summing it up. Ok. Ok to that line. ;-)

The sun slipped sudden, clouds occluding... the game was up, the brightness gone; << < don't sing to me! ;-) Ok, It is finely exprssed. i give you that, you native Speaker, you. But! It sings too much for me.
a click of shutter held the second...boy and man, yet strangely one.
One, because each shared the moment...and in that instant all was clear. <<< let me utter a german: Hm? ;-) Don't hold it against me. It is my spontaneous reaction.

tectak
Harestanes
2013

The intention is good. I like what you try here.
I don't know what Harestanes means.
2013? I would have thought that this poem is not that new. Or are you trying out something new? I recall your poem about North African desert flights. May I say that I prefer Tom's voice back then? I liked this fresh British semi-fascist attitude. Fascist only if it was Libya (in the 40ies), of course. I could go into into it right here but I must pee.


My pleasure to read you
aloud
against your
inhibitions.
--
and this just in private:
On an emotional level I am with you.

Your self-absorbed
serge

You have not yet convinced me that that's a bad thing (for me).