Untitled

[billy]

Maybe someone can help me give it a title?


His skin is her horizon
Like tea leaves
Like destiny;
Veins wild rivers
Mapping his hearts sea

Her spirit is foam.
Brisk, she leans in and
Tastes adventure


Thanks for feedback

for me a comma in vein ' s or one after it veins, or veins on it's own line

veins
wild rivers would make it flow a little better.
love L1,2, of the second stanza. L3 feels too soft. (carries no weight)
could she taste something else. his sand. my words no need to use them (i'm sure you could chose another or leave completely alone. nicely written. jmo

as for the title....it's your poem you think of it