A War Hero

[TheWall0912]

His hands have tasted death,
like a cool winter's chill.
His lungs have tasted a new breath,
for he now has a killer's will.
I really like the way you started this stanza however I would try to find a new way to say the third line. Try using a word other than tasted, its repetitive because of the first line. But I really like its use in the first line!

Does killing change a man?
He knows inside it does,
for he belongs to a new clan,
a clan with a killer buzz.

His return home is praised,
but inside he feels unjustified.
The war has made him crazed,
but unfortunetly he cant resist being modified. I would get rid of unfortunately here

Soon his life will consist of pleasures.
Golf, tennis and whatever else.
All of life's treasures,
are wrapped around his belt.

But he can never forget,
the look in the eyes he felt.
As he killed it is correct,
what all his enemies were dealt.
This stanza just doesn't work with me, but I don't have any advice right now on how to change it.

So live on war hero,
in your life of regret.
Draw your bow and arrow,
and live a life of neglect. I really like the way you ended this

Great start! I really like this poem, just a few minor things I would change as listed above. I think you have some nice language here (seriously love the first line, a lot) but you can still clean it up a bit. My changes are JMHO though so take it or leave it. Good read, thanks!