Smoking

[tectak]

I'm sorry I know im no master poet I just started writing some one day and thought I'd share. It looks like I have a lot of work to do. This is a novice level poet forum isn't it? Just tell me how to improve my poetry and I'll do it. Again Im sorry. Give me some feedback with some tips on what to do to improve my poetry

Good egg!
Just go through this piece and check upon the two words I pointed to. Correct the problem then READ your work OUT LOUD, using your natural speaking voice. You will then find where flow is faulty...rhythm is a difficult subject at high level but flow is a good starting point indicator.
Write what you mean to say to the reader, not what you THINK is your poetry. We judge ourselves highly...and the worse we are the greater the difference from the truth! This applies to all of us
Once you have re-punctuated, post the piece again.
Read more poetry but note that "sharing" what you think is worth sharing won't necessarily result in genuine thanks! Ignore all eulogies from crits using the words awesome, wow or love! These are the words used by those who think a ball point pen is a miracle from god.
Give feedback to others with some real thought behind it. It will help you and them.
Best,
tectak