Untitled [First Post]

[tectak]

I have to agree with the others: I do not like the "journal" style format (if it indeed was intentional). While I think you hit upon universal sentiments, the presentation throws me off completely. I wish the whole piece had rhymed (I'm not a fan of half-rhymes; it throws me off kilter). But it may not be a "rhymable" poem. I must disagree with Billy, for I think, if used correctly, cliches are/can be wonderful attributes for a poem (after all, cliches exist for a reason).

Yes...of course cliches "exist" (?) for a reason...but it is that very reason which so amply and damagingly indicates the aspiring poets inability to think new and original thoughts.
I cannot think if any circumstance where les mots nouveaux could be bettered by a threadbare old cliche....except in the way milo describes. Best avoid them.
Best and off topic,
tectak