Thorazine shuffle

[Magpie]

I started feeling sorry for myself Good start, especially as it's repeated at end
long before I had seen my reflection emphasizes the feeling of self pity
in the shimmery linoleum tiles I like the detail on
stretching into blind corners these two lines

Toward magnetic doors Excellent detail (I know those doors)
where melancholy macaroni people I like the sounds of this line
strapped to rolling recliners more good detail
stare at Plexiglas TV's again

I wear yesterdays black and white
a step at a time, one two, one two This be the shuffle
but see breaths collectively stop
when the dead walk the halls good description of medicated to the eyeballs

As cold as this place is
my head has been on fire
they slam it into origami cups more good detail in origami cups
rattled at me like a baby nurse Ratchet

Coo and fall
face first into tomorrows I got a bit lost with this stanza here
slobber on Fir spoons, flavor slobber = tardive dyskinesia?
mixed with vanilla ice cream
makes it taste like Wednesday

When they are out of vanilla
I get an extra rattler
sucked up in a syringe
and a bolted bed of oak I'm presuming that from here to the
from the eighties end is describing ect
Shock therapy?
In gloves, they pull my hair
because it make me twitch
and no one wants me spitting
while my eyes are closed

They say things like, "We'll talk about this later"
wrap my wrists in sheep's wool, wrapped in leather good detail again
clasped by buckles, pulled
tight enough to close my eyes
because choclate doesn't have a taste
and neither did feeling sorry for myself nicely rounded off, it feels complete

Hi, I must admit I was drawn to this as soon as I saw the title. It wasn't until I looked up thorazine and saw that it was chlorpromazine/ largactil that I realised I was on the same stuff.
This brought back a lot of memories for me and I think that is testament to the very good use of detail in your poem. Especially the first two stanzas. It was the magnetic doors reference that sent a shudder through me, poised to snap shut at any moment. I did get a bit lost in the middle, not sure what "Fir spoons" is referring to. When I mentioned tardive dyskinesia, it's the side effect of a lack of dopamine, which causes slobbering, I don't know if that is what you were referring to.
I like the way you finished it by referring to the first line, it feels complete.
I personally think it's very good, the use of very specific details, describes that world well and it certainly brought back a lot of memories for me, that nightmare of being caught in a trap which isn't really a trap, but it's a personal hell and if only the shrinks knew how hellish it was then they might think twice about putting people on it.
Thanks for sharing this.
Mark