Alone I Charge into the Evening Breeze

[Vistaldust]

"Alone I Charge into the Evening Breeze". Villanelle inspired by Brownie

Alone I charge into the evening breeze,
like confetti against the lighted moon.
Floating high above the salt-fed seas,

Alone I charge into the evening breeze.
If this grey world lay itself to ruin,
and the children of David bend their knees,

I've no one left in which to please,
the sun and stars are my truest boon.
Floating high above the salt-fed seas,

the gilded stars are my trapeze.
Morning light is a bride and I the groom,
alone I charge into the evening breeze.

Floating high above salt-fed seas,
I'll find a cloud in which to squeeze.
I'll unleash the rain from it's drawing room,

to dampen the fire of lingual disease.
Yet until I fall once more toward to the womb,
alone I charge into the evening breeze,
floating high above salt-fed seas.

First, you might want to consider going here:

http://pigpenpoetry.com/showthread.php?tid=10115

The reason I suggest this is, in the critical forum, I would rather address the content but you don't have the form correct, in the practice forum, I would rather address the form. After you get the form right in the practice forums it is perfectly acceptable to repost in the critical forums for critique of content.

I hope I am being clear and helpful here.

Okay, thanks. I'll post this in the practice forum.

---

milo, I don't see a practice forum, unless you are referring to miscellaneous or poetry or fun?