07-01-2013, 07:16 PM
Collecting crab-stick wrappers helped. I wasn’t very well.
I stuck them all in albums, and named them; I could tell
it made me feel more confident, better everyday.
Though some had passed their smell by date I kept them anyway.
I advertised them on the net, a rare and complete set.
I warned against time-wasters to see what price I’d get.
A load of people made low bids but no one said they’d buy
and the postage costs to Ireland were ridiculously high.
I phoned the local daily rag, and told them I was making
a gesture quite invaluable; free and for the taking
to anyone who wanted them, my lifetime’s assignation,
seven thousand crab-stick wraps, donated to the nation.
They printed out my letter twice, I waited for replies.
I wish I’d left out my address, I guess it wasn’t wise. Typo correction. Credit brownlie
Asleep in bed on Friday, I heard something in the night.
It woke me from my dreaming and I fumbled for the light.
Somewhere the sound of breaking glass, a clatter in the hall,
then cursing voices, slamming doors; I heard an engine stall.
A roaring surge and they were gone, and yes, I think you guessed:
they took my whole collection and left me quite depressed.
The cops were kind but passive, though they didn’t really care;
but they took the details of the crime and said that to be fair,
the whole thing seemed quite fishy, then they laughed, I don’t know why.
I didn’t find it funny but I managed not to cry.
It took a week to realise that maybe I could find
crab-stick wrappers on the net! How could I be so blind?
I banged the keys in e-bay search, and there before my eyes,
were crabs for sale and sticks for sale, listed as Best Buys.
With mounting joy I scanned the list for “wrappers” and guess what?
“Wrappers, crab-sticks” popped right up, separate or one lot!
I put an opening bid in, just to see where it would go.
Three-thousand pounds was nice and round, and shouldn't be too low.
Joy of joys, my bid was good, I won the whole shebang
and just today the Postman called, not in his normal van.
We loaded out the albums and stacked them in the street;
the guy next door helped get them in, they didn’t like the heat.
So here I am, a happy man, the albums I’m unpacking.
This sticky tape is real tough stuff; frenzied, I am hacking
madly through bubble wrap! With glee, at last, I free it!
Hmm, it seems familiar….but then all at once I see it.
I’m sitting in my corner and I’m rocking once again.
I don’t know how I’m feeling yet, I can’t engage my brain.
I guess I should be happy but it’s far too soon to say.
At least I’ve got my albums back…thanks a lot, e-bay.
Tectak 2013
I stuck them all in albums, and named them; I could tell
it made me feel more confident, better everyday.
Though some had passed their smell by date I kept them anyway.
I advertised them on the net, a rare and complete set.
I warned against time-wasters to see what price I’d get.
A load of people made low bids but no one said they’d buy
and the postage costs to Ireland were ridiculously high.
I phoned the local daily rag, and told them I was making
a gesture quite invaluable; free and for the taking
to anyone who wanted them, my lifetime’s assignation,
seven thousand crab-stick wraps, donated to the nation.
They printed out my letter twice, I waited for replies.
I wish I’d left out my address, I guess it wasn’t wise. Typo correction. Credit brownlie
Asleep in bed on Friday, I heard something in the night.
It woke me from my dreaming and I fumbled for the light.
Somewhere the sound of breaking glass, a clatter in the hall,
then cursing voices, slamming doors; I heard an engine stall.
A roaring surge and they were gone, and yes, I think you guessed:
they took my whole collection and left me quite depressed.
The cops were kind but passive, though they didn’t really care;
but they took the details of the crime and said that to be fair,
the whole thing seemed quite fishy, then they laughed, I don’t know why.
I didn’t find it funny but I managed not to cry.
It took a week to realise that maybe I could find
crab-stick wrappers on the net! How could I be so blind?
I banged the keys in e-bay search, and there before my eyes,
were crabs for sale and sticks for sale, listed as Best Buys.
With mounting joy I scanned the list for “wrappers” and guess what?
“Wrappers, crab-sticks” popped right up, separate or one lot!
I put an opening bid in, just to see where it would go.
Three-thousand pounds was nice and round, and shouldn't be too low.
Joy of joys, my bid was good, I won the whole shebang
and just today the Postman called, not in his normal van.
We loaded out the albums and stacked them in the street;
the guy next door helped get them in, they didn’t like the heat.
So here I am, a happy man, the albums I’m unpacking.
This sticky tape is real tough stuff; frenzied, I am hacking
madly through bubble wrap! With glee, at last, I free it!
Hmm, it seems familiar….but then all at once I see it.
I’m sitting in my corner and I’m rocking once again.
I don’t know how I’m feeling yet, I can’t engage my brain.
I guess I should be happy but it’s far too soon to say.
At least I’ve got my albums back…thanks a lot, e-bay.
Tectak 2013