My left-handed heart sings me my drab lullabies

[billy]

i'll be gentle with you if you're gentile with me

this is my 2nd time giving feedback on this, i deleted my last one by accident

i like the honky tonk theme you've threaded through the poem serge, it feels like the 1st person is in his cups (drunk) and lamenting his loss is all he has. what i like about your poetry is the way you try and break the sides of the box. though sometimes it doesn't work, this one reads okay but has a couple of niggles.
thanks for the read

My left-handed heart sings me my drab lullabies
to kill love, nice way of establishing duality. good bad happy sad, funny how it's always the left does the nasty stuff.

but I don't want to die

spellin it the Southern way not sure this line adds anything


you park your Murk- see de S? edes in the corner
you can step in sight love the dialect.

I park my mercedes mentality
within my dreams
just in time before
GOD blows my life's candle out.this line's actually quite powerful, it's like a transference of blame

Isn't it unfair to die? yes though not for some


If your heart's a buddhist mind
consider to join me
and swim through my
night-marish life. nightmarish


Bring it on, baby please,
bring back life to me. quotation marks would perk these two lines up and make them real.


Eventually it's over
and you won't remember no more
but if you feel sad
you are welcome in my palace of absynthisence a good image that shows how you can't let go even if it kills you.

to carve out a restroom for your mournings. to image continues