outside

[allykat727]

A soothing laugh can calm an aching soul Very strong first line
Yet a melody from a bird will wake the man Wonderful rhythm in these first two lines
It is not trivial, the pursuit of senses,
we live to find meaning in life and seldom
do without sadness.

It was along the banks of the Hurricane
Shoals, where great large stones set 'great large' seems redundant. I might suggest that 'great stones' has a nice ring to it
with rushing water raging over them. nice alliteration

The sound was like white noise
from the television only amplified perhaps a comma after television?
There were tall and petite oaks, hmm.. tall & petite seems contradictory to me
pointed pines and large maples 'pointed pines' .. very nice!
moving in flourishing motion love the imagery of 'flourishing motion'
each in an array of shaded oranges
reds and greens. nice touch. I am picturing the fall weather

The children played on the stones
laughter abound in the height of
the waves what a curious and interesting turn of words. i like it.
It wasn't long before someone slipped
and started to wail
The smell of charcoal and the excitement
of voices chattering over the subtle
landscape,
Reminded me of the birds in the morning
right before sunrise.

I really enjoyed reading this piece. The rhythm is well done. I have to say, I think my favorite stanza is your first. Thank you for posting!