06-21-2013, 02:19 AM
I'm not sure I fully understand what you are trying to express with your poem.
I generally enjoy poems that rhyme, but if they do, I find it important, that they keep a consistent structure and that the verses all rhyme nicely.
"I'm standing here all lonely
Waiting for my train in agony" doesn't really rhyme, and in some places I feel like the rythm doesn't flow nicely.
I sort of like the idea of the journey though and I think the last stanza is not bad!
I generally enjoy poems that rhyme, but if they do, I find it important, that they keep a consistent structure and that the verses all rhyme nicely.
"I'm standing here all lonely
Waiting for my train in agony" doesn't really rhyme, and in some places I feel like the rythm doesn't flow nicely.
I sort of like the idea of the journey though and I think the last stanza is not bad!