06-16-2013, 05:35 PM
(06-16-2013, 11:40 AM)ernestgoodwell Wrote: She was charming and intriguing.
In the way she carried herself, She employed no girlish airs for she was not a girl.
i liked this, it was a good opening. i think you could use wording with a little more womanly imagery than 'not a girl' and that would tighten it up a little
Quote:Sublime and sensitive, sensuous and sensible.
her hair, careless and lustrous ; complimented her playful rouged pouting lips.
loved this. very nice word play.
i liked this piece overall. there were a couple spelling errors that could use a second read over. there were places that could be tightened up, a little more concise, but i liked the way it flowed. nice work