06-10-2013, 06:13 AM
(06-10-2013, 06:09 AM)heisenborg Wrote: Monsanto gloats while they shove down our throatsThe problem with writing rhetoric is that it is too easy to get caught up in /what/ you want to say and forget that poetry is all about how you say it. There are some problems with inversion, some superfluous wording, quite a bit of tired phrasing and of course the meter is a mess.
Food that by law they're not required to research
This ear of corn is stillborn
So grab your signs and T-shirts
The government's muddied
In this painful hour by corporate power
The population over-studied,
the family farm gutted and bloodied
Food safety's not the public's business
Go on, try to win this
Try to put a stop to the massive agenda
The government can't legally break, so they will bend ya
Poisoning you, keeping you dumb, passive and ignorant
The truth hurts and there's much more than you're picturin
Major media news only wears one pair of shoes
If you can't wear it, then you're a terrorist
American freedom was something to be proud of
Now it's a phrase meant to rile people up
Get them crazy, violent, in need of control
Cause they're coming for your guns, your kids and your gold!
Listen, watch the news, cause it's the only source
Of real information from a terrifying force.
That being said it is a good effort and your narrator seems to feel strongly about it.
Thanks for posting.

