Dueling

[Brownlie]

I don't like "olden times" or the fact that you used "fear" twice.

In fact I think your first line should be removed.
Solid imagery. Though there's a hesitance with this poem that I can't put my finger on.

I set out to write a sonnet, then I got lazy and tried to write in blank verse then I got frustrated and sort of gave up any semblence of order. Getting the sense arranged naturally with the sound can be frustrating. I wonder what kind of irrational love I'd have for a child