Blurring The Lines

[UnicornRainbowCake]

Your words are poetic, but it doesn't read like poetry. It reads like prose. Your lines are incredibly long - and although it still is poetry of course, it would have the same effect if you put them altogether into a paragraph. I like the way you write but to take it from prose to poetry I'd cut the lines down. It is a shame to do that, because I like this a lot - but as prose. I'd keep this and then write another version as a poem.