06-06-2013, 02:15 AM
Which version?
I don't see it, but I appreciate the feedback.
the last three lines set the cadence and hestation of uncertainty.
And actually "what it looks like" is a little out of place because I just described what it looks like.
it almost seems as if the first 3 lines stand alone better than it all together.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My spirit is restless tonight.
It is a wild and undulating thing made up of tarnished mechanical bits and pieces,
And I cannot sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is as close as I could find.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-OqYFB4ofY
I know this is probably too mechanical for most of you, but this is how I feel inside.
I don't see it, but I appreciate the feedback.
the last three lines set the cadence and hestation of uncertainty.
And actually "what it looks like" is a little out of place because I just described what it looks like.
it almost seems as if the first 3 lines stand alone better than it all together.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My spirit is restless tonight.
It is a wild and undulating thing made up of tarnished mechanical bits and pieces,
And I cannot sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is as close as I could find.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-OqYFB4ofY
I know this is probably too mechanical for most of you, but this is how I feel inside.