05-21-2013, 11:07 PM
I agree with the others. When I first started reading this I thought it was going to be a happy clappy write about the beautiful orchard, so the dark turn took me by surprise. I really liked the images you have created and the way the orchard turns from an idyllic place into a sweltering, inescapable hell-hole. The hanging and the crows make the bleakness complete. It made me very curious as to how the person's friends came to leave them, I think the poem would really benefit from a bit of background information as to why all this has happened, what has turned their life so horribly off course. Other than that I agree that the meter could use tightening and some words cut out. Very enjoyable and look forward to reading more from you 