Hopscotch

[qwerty_H]

Two girls with chalk,
on the sidewalk they scratch
out pictures of spiders
hearts, and hopscotch.

When night time arrives
scratching dreams in their minds
little heart playing hopscotch
with water and brine.

When daylight arrives
a welcome reprise
we wonder, was it spiders
that ate out their eyes?

-H

it feels really primitive , specially the last line though it also feels like the poet as done it this way purposefully. that the enjambment was knowing done in this style. the title also give me the same feeling. i like it for this reason alone, (the primitivism of it all) i do think it could be better and that the poet is also knowledgeable to know the same thing. thanks for an interesting read.

Thanks for your comments billy. Yah, I suppose i could have done it better, I will work harder at it.

-H