Special K for Breakfast

[Magpie]

Everybody told me not to, which I mistakenly heard as,
"You might as well, what have you got to lose." Very witty opening lines, though you don't need a comma after "as" in L1.
"Take someone with you" they pleaded.
So after nominating Myself, I took Me. I like the capitalisations here.

There we were, Me and I, sitting down to breakfast...
"Ladies and Gentlemen this is your captain speaking
welcome aboard flight...", "the flight"
"I'll have special K thanks" I said to the air hostess.
"...event of an emergency there are no safety exits..."
The rest of our breakfast was prepared as we waited.
"...seatbelts are provided merely for fascination. Enjoy your..." Great line, made me giggle

In a quick contemptuous utterance, breakfast was devoured.

"FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!!"

Flames, frantic frenzied flashes.
Pulsating, paralytic pains engulfing the fragile passage, dragging in
it's "its"; you only use an apostrophe when "it's" is an abbreviation of "it is" wake caustic hooks, tearing the membrane assunder.
Ascending to assault the back of the eyeball.
White hot toxic sand. Seeping into the soft tissue then slowly
trickling down into the back of throat.
Drip...
Drop...
Noxious, acrid bitter...

"Our current altitude is..."

deep breath,

"...above the clouds."

High flight. Up, up the long, delirious, burning blue.
Sounds of Africa, a voice singing "medicine is magical and
magical is art."

Whilst watching Myself and Me and I from the far distant corner
of the galactic room, the trinity slowly turned to acknowledge the
higher self-contained "human trampoline and sometimes when
I'm falling."

Surprise attack, ambushed, reversal role.
Now, we three, spellbound look on helplessly destitute,
"What if I die here?", trapped in this screen,
"spinning in infinity", watching myself
watch myself observe "the pale yellow moon."

With reality obliterated, due to the fact that we mistook it for
reality, all five of us ventured forth into the laptop.
"Don't I know you from the cinematographer's party?"
"No, sorry." He must have us mixed up with, "somebody could
walk into this room and say your life is on fire."

Legs gone, legs long, legs of dwarf, giant legs.
Small giant, tiny dwarf, gigantic arms,
"And we are homeless, homeless"

Did we mention dimensions, all the possibilities of a K hole?
Walk can we diagonal, horizontal, "it's all over the evening news."

"NO STOP!!!"
"Houston, we have a problem!!!"
...........
...........
"This is Who's Town, we explained before lift off sir, NO EXIT"

Of a sudden, waking up in our claustrophobic coffin,
hindered by heavy heat,
weighing down,
constricting,
oppressive,
weight,
dead.
Now
opening it's its eyes,
eyeball to eyeball to eyeballs,
balling, shouting from the abyss,
"that was your Father, before you was born dude."

"Ladies and Gentleman, this is your captain speaking
we are currently entering some turbulence, which will delay..."

"NO TURBULENCE!!!"

"two hours."

"well it's not just me and it's not just you this is all around the world."

The poem's witty and clever in a surreal way for a while, but then it starts to lose momentum. It's too long, really, and could be improved with some generous editing. I reckon that it's simply about an experience of air travel for someone who's scared of flying, a subject the poem approaches in the most abstract manner possible. JMHO, of course. Thanks for the read

Hi Heslopian, thanks for taking the time to read and comment on this poem, it is much appreciated.
I think with this poem I've took on an almost impossible task, in that it tries to explain the effect of the drug Ketamine. And not for the sake of a drugs poem but as a kind of exercise in describing what I think is very hard to describe to someone who hasn't experienced it. Although I do like your take on and can see exactly how you could come to that conclusion, I've had the misfortune of being on a plane next to someone who was a "little bit scared" of flying. It was like watching the exorsist, very surreal. I'm going to take this poem back to the garage for a full service. Thanks again, at least I know I can write witty lines, which is not a bad thing at all. thanks AR

---

all nighters are more common for it's use though i there are all dayers. special K at breakfast would be expect. special K for tea or supper, less so. normally used at all nighters and raves in one form or another. because of use membrane i'm assuming it was (in the poem) snorted. lets remember it's an anaesthetic (a bit like coke) and though it screws up the mucus membrane it does so with little pain, until it's effects wear off. if there are caustic hooks they're probably from the crap they're cutting it with like rat poison etc . the 'i took me' part' feels to contrived in the poem as does the flight scenario. the 'everybody told me' feels to prose. the stanza after fire in the hole, could describe one of a number of drugs, mainly coke. the last line feels a bit trite.

some of the descriptive stuff is okay (the trippy parts). when you snort, is there a smell or colour to it, is it powder or liquid form, did you crush a tab or two etc, show the story, the methodology, you could cut a lot of the poem and make what's left much stronger. did you just sit there after taking it? if so why. there's a good poem here it's just carrying a bit too much baggage to be noticeable
thanks for the read.

I don't like to do introductions, but this is very,very experimental and not totally finished. I guess I'm kind of wondering
is it too "out there." drug wise no, excess baggage, maybe

Special K for Breakfast

Everybody told me not to, which I mistakenly heard as,
"You might as well, what have you got to lose."
"Take someone with you" they pleaded.
So after nominating Myself, I took Me.

There we were, Me and I, sitting down to breakfast...
"Ladies and Gentlemen this is your captain speaking
welcome aboard flight...",
"I'll have special K thanks" I said to the air hostess.
"...event of an emergency there are no safety exits..."
The rest of our breakfast was prepared as we waited.
"...seatbelts are provided merely for fascination. Enjoy your..."

In a quick contemptuous utterance, breakfast was devoured.

"FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!!"

Flames, frantic frenzied flashes.
Pulsating, paralytic pains engulfing the fragile passage, dragging in
it's wake caustic hooks, tearing the membrane assunder.
Ascending to assault the back of the eyeball.
White hot toxic sand. Seeping into the soft tissue then slowly
trickling down into the back of throat.
Drip...
Drop...
Noxious, acrid bitter...

"Our current altitude is..."

deep breath,

"...above the clouds."

High flight. Up, up the long, delirious, burning blue.
Sounds of Africa, a voice singing "medicine is magical and
magical is art."

Whilst watching Myself and Me and I from the far distant corner
of the galactic room, the trinity slowly turned to acknowledge the
higher self-contained "human trampoline and sometimes when
I'm falling."

Surprise attack, ambushed, reversal role.
Now, we three, spellbound look on helplessly destitute,
"What if I die here?", trapped in this screen,
"spinning in infinity", watching myself
watch myself observe "the pale yellow moon."

With reality obliterated, due to the fact that we mistook it for
reality, all five of us ventured forth into the laptop.
"Don't I know you from the cinematographer's party?"
"No, sorry." He must have us mixed up with, "somebody could
walk into this room and say your life is on fire."

Legs gone, legs long, legs of dwarf, giant legs.
Small giant, tiny dwarf, gigantic arms,
"And we are homeless, homeless"

Did we mention dimensions, all the possibilities of a K hole?
Walk can we diagonal, horizontal, "it's all over the evening news."

"NO STOP!!!"
"Houston, we have a problem!!!"
...........
...........
"This is Who's Town, we explained before lift off sir, NO EXIT"

Of a sudden, waking up in our claustrophobic coffin,
hindered by heavy heat,
weighing down,
constricting,
oppressive,
weight,
dead.
Now
opening it's eyes,
eyeball to eyeball to eyeballs,
balling, shouting from the abyss,
"that was your Father, before you was born dude."

"Ladies and Gentleman, this is your captain speaking
we are currently entering some turbulence, which will delay..."

"NO TURBULENCE!!!"

"two hours."

"well it's not just me and it's not just you this is all around the world."

Hi Billy thanks for taking the time to read through this and comment, I agree with about excess bagagge and how it needs tidying up a bit. As regards the use of, I know you say it's normally used at all night raves but the way that I've done it in the past and my friends is what people call a k-hole, and when youre in one of them you couldn't be at a rave it is a different trip all together and that's what I was explain. In some ways I think that I've proved my point that it is impossible to explain to someone who hasn't done it, which is what I wanted to achieve, and although I do think it's impossible, I'm not giving up yet.
Perhaps I should explain a couple of the way out references 1st of all the line that says "In a quick contemptuous utterance" was supposed to mean "snort" I was proud of it, I even typed it into a crossword solver and it said "snort". Probably the thing that no-one was going to get was all the quotes in the posh font like "medicine is magical and magical is art." are all lines from each song on the Paul Simon Graceland album because that's what I was listening to, and so that last line that was trite, I totally agree with you, it's all Paul's fault. But that is something that didn't work, using that album for reference points. The I took Me concept perhaps could be done better but it was definitely something I wanted to say because that's how it feel, that's why it turns into three, four and five. Then end of it is crap but that's because I wanted to know if it was going to work so I rushed it(pardon the pun). I know I've went on a bit of a rant here. but i'd really like to try this, but I do think such a hard thing to explain in a realistic way without it sounding like tellytubbies on holiday.
I appreciate your honesty and balanced opinion, but you ain't seen the last of this poem yet.
Thanks again AR
Forgot to say, why not for breakfast? there was nothing else doing so I thought why not.