05-18-2013, 08:32 PM
Hey, just wanted to say I really liked this. Despite what everyone says I kind of liked the cliched first stanza hahaha I got the feeling it was delibrately written that way to contrast with something totally different later on (and the end was definitely different haha)
My favourite line in the second stanza is "Cities and buildings, flashes of light.", because to me it feels like the poem is speeding up to something, but maybe the rest of stanza doesn't do as much for me.
3rd stanza is my favourite, I liked the "blood on the trees" part much like everyone else, though I must say I'm not really sure what that refers too. It's a really interesting image nevertheless and definitely the one I like most hahah
I can't offer any ideas on how to improve it, but it'll be nice to read it again if you choose to. Thanks for sharing!
My favourite line in the second stanza is "Cities and buildings, flashes of light.", because to me it feels like the poem is speeding up to something, but maybe the rest of stanza doesn't do as much for me.
3rd stanza is my favourite, I liked the "blood on the trees" part much like everyone else, though I must say I'm not really sure what that refers too. It's a really interesting image nevertheless and definitely the one I like most hahah
I can't offer any ideas on how to improve it, but it'll be nice to read it again if you choose to. Thanks for sharing!