Loves Forgotten Fight

[Keith]

I think you use some very interesting words and phrases in this poem. I like the clear contrast between the stanzas, and still there's a cohesiveness in the words and breaks, that ties the stanzas well together. I'm sorry for not being able to give any constructive crit, I just wanted to say that I enjoyed the read. Thanks
-LB

Thank you for the kind words Volaticus, Much appreciated.

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The fun is making up after a fight

So why now, does her face cold crack, a comma?
split lipped her frown, as a thunder brews,
fingers drawn, stretched tight to scratch,
my mouth opens, with words I can't use, great line
apologies writhed on spat-backed tongue,
ceramic sand cloud, cuts deep into flesh,
press tight to her anger, flaying held strong.

With struggles fading, her ambitions to test,
fine muscle relaxes, guilt loosens my grip, fine muscles relax?
my eyes give chase to our hiding place,
light softens her tones, embraced lips bit,
probing mouths race the passion we taste,
how frantic now our coupling calls flight,
low down we caress loves forgotten fight.

Love this amusing and fun piece. A few nits for input, to be ignored at will. Nice job.

Many Thanks Heartafire both for comment and Crit, will use all. TOMH