05-15-2013, 05:10 AM
"Enjoy yourself. Take only what you need from me." Immediately reminds me of the chorus from KIDS by MGMT haha. The grammar is a little bit iffy in a few places (e.g. The moment is lasting forever as she looks you in the eyes), but its generally well written. As qwerty_h already mentioned I think maybe this write could benefit from a few lines cut here and there and/or some detailing in order to give it a bit more of an impact/less of an extended flashpoint. Look forward to reading more Kickback 