The Redwoods

[Sam33lynn]

hey.
I like that a tree is reminiscing. although i think by Stanza 10, the tree becomes long winded and is talking too much. I didn't really like Stanza 10 anyway. Not sure, but I think this piece could do without it. I dunno, it seems like it was forced when Stanza 13 came. I did lose attention around this part, I wont lie. But that could just be me.

I love Stanza 2, Line 3-4. A little kid looking up at a tall ass tree thinking it goes on forever and ever. I like the idea of the tree talking about the family growing up and such. But maybe it can be shortened. Take Stanzas 4-9 and mash em together maybe?

You could spend a good day working on this fixing it up. Should be fun though lol Have a drink!

Thanks for the feedback! I plan to work with it next week, but I agree that it got kinda long and some parts are irrelevant. Ill post the edited version when I get the chance.