Genesis

[Magpie]

I walked into the jungle and came out as a man Excellent first line
I'm not the lotus torn by the void's eye
The astral eye will be my night
It will never dance the dirge of dawn I like the spiritual connotations of these 3 lines
It will be the darkest bright Even though I know what you mean it could be seen as a contradiction
My air in summerland is crystal, not crime I'm not sure what summerland is or means
Whither, wilt, whisper in its name I like the alliteration in this line
The wilt of a halfman
Is not the wilt that is mine
A voyage through the ocean under the skin
I became apart of that sea, that is when should this be apart or a part
I became a man

I drank the violet waters from the fountain of a halfman beautifully poetic line
I'm not the crying creek quilting a moon's ripple
Or the ground whispering to its mirror Mars Good line
I'm the gale of dust under the drifting grey mountain
The eyes , these eyes, aren't fading by the eye
In the creeping of the silver, it laughed
That laugh was a forest without trees I'm not so sure about this comparison
In the bark I saw no man
There laid a heart
It was my heart
That is
When
I became a halfman

I limped from the caving house and saw a boy
I'm not tied to the alice tree of dawn I'm not sure what alice tree is, I looked it up but found nothing
These swimming solid leaves are not me
Behind the halfline of my velvet sea
They float me across and I become gold
The waters of metronome shift to the waters of man by metronome are u implying waters of rhythm?
And the waves of man become the sea of silence
That is when
I became a boy

The tree bloomed an aurora of leaves and I became nothing another beautiful poetic line

Hi James,
I really enjoyed this poem and straight away I was drawn in by the beautiful style and phrases that you use. It is very obvious that you've got talent and I would hazard a guess to say that you've done a lot of writing. I'm not entirely sure of all the references but I am looking forward to your explanation. I've left the odd comment here and there, next to certain lines, nothing too serious and to be taken too serious either.
You have a beautiful poetic style of writing and I look forward to reading more of your poetry in due course.
Thanks for the read.
AR