05-12-2013, 04:17 AM
Meander much?
For such a small, simple poem this really says/reads a whole lot. Not that it gets deep into the man's life with detail, but it's sufficient enough to describe (in detail) his lackluster life.
I think I'm having trouble understanding the 2nd stanza leading into the 3rd.
There is no reason today-- but today is the day that he's not going to live or care, but he will get out of bed anyway, just so that he could not care for no reason? ... Man that's hurt. He has found a life to live, but in truth, I would not want to call that living! It sounds so awful.
It would be interesting to know why he is how he is. Maybe you could create a poem that will lead up to this poem.
All in all the flow of this poem I liked. It reads nicely. Although there isn't much punctuation, the ending punctuates the poem nicely. "Until death decides to save him" Period. I like that.
For such a small, simple poem this really says/reads a whole lot. Not that it gets deep into the man's life with detail, but it's sufficient enough to describe (in detail) his lackluster life.
I think I'm having trouble understanding the 2nd stanza leading into the 3rd.
There is no reason today-- but today is the day that he's not going to live or care, but he will get out of bed anyway, just so that he could not care for no reason? ... Man that's hurt. He has found a life to live, but in truth, I would not want to call that living! It sounds so awful.
It would be interesting to know why he is how he is. Maybe you could create a poem that will lead up to this poem.
All in all the flow of this poem I liked. It reads nicely. Although there isn't much punctuation, the ending punctuates the poem nicely. "Until death decides to save him" Period. I like that.