05-12-2013, 03:30 AM
Hi Billy thanks for the feedback. Done a couple of edits. I agree about standing oaks comment but sadly not ready to be set free from the need to keep the syllable count. 
Also managed to forget my seasonal word
, although thanks for the generosity of looking for it in the wine grapes.
Was aiming at the idea of a domestic travel journal - from beach head to meadow and then the haiku being the summation of the metaphor reversed - from meadow to beach head.
Oh and only just got the referance to "Haibun being enough" thought they were seperate poetic forms - just re-looked them up and now get the meaning of you message - always something new to learn here
Also managed to forget my seasonal word
, although thanks for the generosity of looking for it in the wine grapes.Was aiming at the idea of a domestic travel journal - from beach head to meadow and then the haiku being the summation of the metaphor reversed - from meadow to beach head.
Oh and only just got the referance to "Haibun being enough" thought they were seperate poetic forms - just re-looked them up and now get the meaning of you message - always something new to learn here