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...Untitled...
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05-11-2013, 11:03 PM
first paragraph is heavy on color, the next two focuses on physical imagery, which is interesting. also the last line of the first paragraph " I ride through the forest, while she waits for me," might be better(if you wanted) if it was "I ride through the forest, while she waits there for me". like princess in the tower kind of stuff.
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| Messages In This Thread |
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...Untitled... - by Zerric - 05-09-2013, 12:21 PM
RE: ...Untitled... - by Obloquy - 05-10-2013, 01:06 AM
RE: ...Untitled... - by billy - 08-24-2013, 05:24 PM
RE: ...Untitled... - by Labyrinth - 05-11-2013, 11:17 AM
RE: ...Untitled... - by Volaticus - 05-11-2013, 11:29 AM
RE: ...Untitled... - by Zerric - 05-11-2013, 07:49 PM
RE: ...Untitled... - by lmh - 05-11-2013, 11:03 PM
RE: ...Untitled... - by Zerric - 05-13-2013, 04:38 PM
RE: ...Untitled... - by billy - 05-13-2013, 04:50 PM
RE: ...Untitled... - by Zerric - 05-13-2013, 05:12 PM
RE: ...Untitled... - by billy - 05-13-2013, 05:17 PM
RE: ...Untitled... - by Zerric - 05-13-2013, 05:31 PM
RE: ...Untitled... - by billy - 05-13-2013, 05:57 PM
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