4 poems

[Magpie]

the alliteration in the first feels a little foced but the poem as a whole is okay.

luxurious seems like too luxurious a word to use, do you need 'the' in the 2nd. again i enjoyed the poem.

is 'the' needed in the last line of the 3rd, i think this one is almost excellent

again with the last line of the 4th, is 'the' needed. another keeper.

Hi Billy thanks for the comments,
I feel that you are definitely right about all the unnecessary use of 'the'. And that is due to me wanting to stay mostly with the 5-7-5 syllable format, which I know most people would say is not necessary and sometimes impractical in modern English language haiku. But there is a modern haiku writer called Richard Wright who for the most part sticks to the 5-7-5 format for whatever reason and in my opinion has wrote some of the best modern haiku that I have read. Have you read any of his stuff?
I will edit these as regards the "the's" (if that makes sense).
I'll take a look at 'luxurious' again but at the time it seemed perfect, and it's such a beautiful sounding word but I know what you mean by 'too luxurious'.
Thanks again for the honesty.
AR